2. Chicago White Sox

I’m gonna puke. My last list didn’t even include the White Sox. I’ve been trolling Sox fans since free agency started. Now, according to multiple reports, White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf is willing to open up his cob-webbed wallet and pay one of the two top free agents. While it seems Manny Machado is a more likely option (although he seems close to a deal with the Yankees), the 100-loss White Sox have created quite a stir amongst its fan base.

Even Sports Mockery’s own Matt Zawaski, host of Pinwheels and Ivy, is on the Harper train. Hell, Zo is even dreaming of Harper on the White Sox. Sure, he’ll need to change his sheets, but as much guff as I’ve given him for it, the more likely it seems the White Sox are serious about Harper. Perhaps he’ll have the last laugh.

Very happy to see that Machado/Harper has driven others as crazy as I. I posted a poll about Griffey/Trout and it turned into a full fledged convo about a giraffe playing CF for the White Sox. I live for this. pic.twitter.com/tAnAlxDLkM

— Matt Zawaski (Zo) (@SouthsideZo) January 4, 2019

The troublesome part of selling the White Sox is the team’s futility the last few seasons. Dead-last finishes four years running isn’t a great selling piece for a player who is expected to team up with a frontrunner to secure his title and his legacy, similar to LeBron when he joined the Big Three in Miami. Still, the White Sox have a strong farm system and, while they are the disrespected little brother of the Cubs, they are in a major market.

Marketing and branding is important to Harper so signing with one of the Chicago teams makes a ton of sense. Mind you, White Sox fans’ heads would explode. The team would go from two years away from contending to immediately contending in a mediocre AL Central.

#whitesox single-game #springtraining tickets go on sale Monday. It’s only 6 weeks away, thank God. No guarantees about Machado or Harper being in a Sox uni. pic.twitter.com/eSgo0GuqlX

— Matt Enuco (@Matt_Enuco) January 4, 2019