Whole Ass One Thing
So the three alphas played well, as did Mirotic, and the Bulls got a much-needed win. But in doing so, the young guys GarPax and their coach are trying to develop got the short straw. Grant and Zipser were both DNP-CD’s. Payne played 11 minutes. Joffrey Lauvergne, who the Bulls might look to re-sign as a restricted free agent this summer, played just 3 minutes after a recently increased role that came courtesy of Niko’s benching.
The Bulls are trying to achieve two contradictory goals at once, and it’s maddening to watch. If what they really wanted was a playoff run, the trade sending away Taj and Doug (their 3rd and 4th leading scorers) shouldn’t have happened. If what they really want is a playoff run, Payne and Grant shouldn’t be getting minutes ahead of Rondo. Similarly, Lauvergne shouldn’t play ahead of Mirotic.
Hoiberg is trying – at his bosses’ request – to juggle 12 chainsaws that all have different blades and handles. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Hoiberg doesn’t even appear capable of juggling 3 balls of equal size and shape. (In this metaphor, the chainsaws/balls represent the individuals on an NBA roster, in case that wasn’t clear.) If that weren’t difficult enough, the juggler’s puppet masters are demanding that he constantly switch directions during his impossible routine.
“Make the playoffs! But be sure to get these kids who stink plenty of playing time! Do it!”
The Bulls are trying to half-ass two things. As a brilliant man once explained, that’s never a good idea.
Until the front office admits this to themselves (and decide that they care) the Bulls will continue to be stuck in NBA purgatory. Not bad enough for a franchise-changing draft pick, but just good enough to barely miss the playoffs.
I wonder which goal Hoiberg will decide to pursue on Wednesday night; which chainsaws he will choose to juggle. More and more, the only reason to watch this team is the hope of seeing some freak disaster that results in a lost appendage. Sounds morbid, I know. But that’s all these Bulls are good for anymore. Shock value and schadenfreude.
