Friday, December 6, 2024

Aaron Rodgers Says He Found Recipe For The “Fountain of Youth”

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We’ve learned a lot of things about Aaron Rodgers over the past 20 years. We know he might be the most accurate thrower of the football in NFL history. He’s a surefire Hall of Fame quarterback who will go down as one of the greatest ever. He is also a conspiracy theorist and a drug addict. He would probably call it being a purveyor of alternate medicine. The bottom line is Rodgers has become more and more unhinged with his sampling of new remedies with advancing age. He won’t hesitate to champion them at every possible opportunity, too.

Rodgers has dealt with a number of injuries over the past few weeks. However, at his latest presser, he swore he felt rejuvenated thanks to a remedy relayed to him by New York Jets teammate Thomas Morstead. Is it a special exercise, cream, or medicine? Nope. It’s cayenne pepper and water. Rodgers swears it is the greatest discovery of the 21st century.

“T-Mo gave me a little fountain of youth he said he’s been taking for a while. All legal, of course. … He’s been taking like cayenne pepper and water, so he gave me some before the game.

Felt pretty good, but I’ve been kind of gassing him up. That’s why I’m feeling so good. I’m not sure how much that’s playing a factor.”

Aaron Rodgers will do anything to champion his fight against age.

The problem is, unlike Tom Brady, none of his supposed solutions seem to work. Rodgers is having the worst season of his career, throwing 12 touchdowns and seven interceptions. He hasn’t thrown for 300 yards in a game since December of 2021. This is not the player people remember. People will blame a poor situation around him. In reality, this version of Aaron Rodgers was already showing up before his departure from Green Bay. He just can’t hit that extra gear to lift a team to wins anymore. The loss last week to the hapless New England Patriots might’ve been the low point of his career. Yet here he is insisting cayenne and water will solve all his problems. R-E-L-A-X. Drug addictions do tend to make you delusional.

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Slip Knotz
Slip Knotz
Oct 30, 2024 8:19 pm

LOL @ TWTY hilarious.

Dr. Steven Sallie
Dr. Steven Sallie
Oct 30, 2024 3:57 pm

Oh, one last thing. Those very large and wet mozzarella balls do not come from cows or hippos, but African water buffalos They were brought to Italy by Arabs and Muslims. Tomatoes were also brought to Italy be Iberians. Who would have thought such? Rodgers is not good enough to be my assistant chef.

Last edited 1 month ago by Dr. Steven Sallie
jmscooby
Oct 30, 2024 3:54 pm

Don’t forget to add black pepper to your turmeric, Rocky Flay.

Dr. Steven Sallie
Dr. Steven Sallie
Oct 30, 2024 3:48 pm

It just so happens that I have known about the benefits of cayenne pepper for decades. Another great spice is turmeric. Although far from my background, I eat Indian/Pakistani food often. If you desire more benefits, then cumin, pomegranates, and mint found in Mediterranean/Middle East dishes.

Of course, I own several sets of the world’s best cookbooks. As both a boxer and a chef, my trifecta of energy and flavor consists typically of fresh garlic, fresh ginger, and the best chilis. Let’s share recipes sometimes. You’ll be glad you did.

Last edited 1 month ago by Dr. Steven Sallie
Dr. Melhus
Oct 30, 2024 1:14 pm

I agree that Aaron Rodgers, at his peak, was a very gifted quarterback. Now, not so much, although I suspect that if the Bears were to play the Jets this season, he’d drink enough cayenne pepper water to play like he did years ago and would again embarrass the Bears. All that said, P.T. Barnum said that there’s a sucker born every minute. I’m pretty sure that Aaron Rodgers covered at least two hours of Barnum’s maxim. If I were the type of person who wanted to sell real estate on Mars or some sort of snake oil, I’d target… Read more »

Last edited 1 month ago by Dr. Melhus

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