Young Bulls, Wade, Quell Rumors He Was A Fucking Shmuck… Maybe

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When Dwyane Wade was signed by the Bulls prior to the 2016-17 season it was supposed to be a jovial homecoming. Wade, in the twilight of his career, was signed to mentor young Bulls like Jimmy Butler, Bobby Portis, and Doug McDermott whilst helping to usher in a new era sans the baggage of Derrick Rose. And also, if we’re being honest, he was signed to keep people in the seats.

Fast forward to the present and that’s nooooottt exactly what happened.

Butler is gone.

McDermott is gone.

Let’s just go ahead and say what transpired was the antithesis of the original plan. A plan so mired in failure, news of civil unrest and turmoil was leaking from the Bulls locker room quicker than you can say “fuck GarPax.”

A few months after the trade that sent him to Minnesota, Jimmy Butler had this to say of said allegations–

“Hell, probably some of them can’t stand or don’t like me. That’s fine,” Butler said, per the Chicago Sun-Times‘ Joe Cowley. “I’m still waking up fortunate and blessed every day, just like Dwyane is. He still has a fabulous family and a lot more important things to worry about than the opinions of others. But if they dislike him because the guy wants to win, well, then that team has some serious problems on the way.”

Needless to say, all signs pointed to an awkward exit via buyout for Wade– and that’s exactly what happened. Or so we thought…

Now Bulls players and Wade himself have seemingly flipped the script on that narrative as Dwyane Wade himself told K.C. Johnson of the Chicago Tribune that he would reach out to some of his former teammates this season to offer “support and advice.”

Ummmmm, k? Come on Dwyane, you already wasted everyone’s time wearing red. Just move on in wine and gold. Ride off into the sunset clutching LeBron’s nutsack and be gone with you.

Could it be Wade is just low-key trolling? Considering the Bulls are a division rival, I’m not sold this is an act of selflessness. I’m leaning more toward this being a downright mockery of his hometown team.

Evidently, Wade lived on an island during his riveting lone year home; why care now? However, perhaps his intentions are good. I mean… not like the Bulls pose any sort of threat anyways, right?

At any rate, the words of Bobby Portis don’t seem all that convincing. So you be the judge.

“We talked. Everything is cool,” Bulls forward Bobby Portis told Johnson. “It wasn’t like we didn’t like him or anything. It was just we had our troubles during the season.”

Mhmmmmm…

Obviously satire. But in satire there is truth. (Photo credit: the Kicker)

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Flew with the Ducks of Oregon and ran to the desert where I caught a ride on the airwaves. Those winds carried me back home to the city that owns them-- just to talk about Da Bulls with you fools.