At this point, I think it’s pretty fair to say that ESPN’s Jim Bowden is trolling everyone. He’s paid to be an MLB analyst for the biggest sports entertainment company in the world and somehow he keeps coming up with the stupidest ideas. He’s not even annoyingly bad like Stephen A. Smith. Bowden flat out has given up on caring about his credibility with some of the shit he smears around the Internet. That includes one (probably all of them) trade proposal he’d like to see between the Chicago Cubs and Cincinnati Reds.
Lucky for most of you, this putrid vomit of words was an ESPN Insider article, so you probably didn’t bother to open the link. Yet, if you’re in for a good laugh check out what Bowden thought would be a great trade for the Cubs and Reds.
Cubs get: CF Billy Hamilton
Reds get: OF Albert Almora Jr. and 2B Ian Happ
Seriously? Jim are you OK? Do you need some help?
This was the funniest line of the breakdown.
Why it works …
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
No. Under no scenario does that trade work. Theo Epstein could be held hostage, a gun to his head and he still wouldn’t make that deal. He wouldn’t bother to spend one second thinking about it. He’d prefer to just end it all before giving a Billy Hamilton for Albert Almora Jr. AND Ian Happ trade proposal to process in his head.
But let’s see, maybe I’m being too cruel here. Why does it work for the Cubs, Jim?
… for the Cubs: The Cubs need a leadoff hitter after Dexter Fowler departed for the St. Louis Cardinals as a free agent, and Hamilton could fill that void. As shown by his improvement with his .321 on-base percentage last season — he projects to .340 this season — he’s finally starting to develop at the plate.
He has stolen 55 or more bases for three straight seasons, and at 26 years old, he is just entering his prime. Hamilton’s blazing speed gives him the potential for 70-plus stolen bases. This will force pitchers to throw more fastballs to Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo & Co. Ben Zobrist could help Hamilton learn to better work counts and draw more walks, and when Hamilton does that, watch out.
Hamilton also has great range in the outfield. Put him with Gold Glove right fielder Jason Heyward, and they will save a lot of hits and runs in the gaps. Almora would be expendable because of Hamilton, and Happ is blocked by Zobrist, Javier Baez and Kyle Schwarber.
- The Cubs have a leadoff hitter, his name is Kyle Schwarber.
- According to the projections provided by FanGraphs, Hamilton projects nowhere near a .340 OBP for 2017
3. The Cubs don’t care about stealing bases
Hamilton is 26-years-old and I mean, it’s not like he’s a bum. He obviously brings something to the table, compiling an 8.8 fWAR during the last three seasons with the Reds. Exceptional speed, covers a lot of space in the outfield and he can steal bases. Fantastic and who knows maybe he has figured it out at the plate, but c’mon he had a slash line of .260/.321/.343 in 2016.
4. The Cubs already a great outfielder to put next to Heyward, his name is Albert Almora Jr.
5. Albert Almora Jr. is with the Cubs.
6. The Cubs could always use Happ in a different trade instead of just throwing him in to this dumbass trade for a player, who the Cubs already have – Almora.
Just take a step back and take a breath. OK.
In this train wreck of a proposal, the Cubs would be sending two of their top three prospects to a division rival for Billy Hamilton. What the fuck has Jim Bowden been drinking?
Again, I think he’s trolling Cubs fans because here’s his reasoning for why it works for the Reds.
… for the Reds: The Reds control Hamilton’s contract for only three more years, but they would be able to control Almora’s and Happ’s deals for six major league seasons. Hamilton is also arbitration-eligible next offseason, which means he’ll start getting expensive, while Almora and Happ won’t be eligible for three more years, at least. The Reds get significant financial and control savings in this deal, and that should help their long-term rebuilding process.
Almora is a plus defender in center field, while Happ would be the key to the deal for the Reds. He’s ranked as high as the Cubs’ second-best prospect behind Eloy Jimenez, and he profiles to a 20-home-run, 20-stolen-base-type producer, who has special on-base skills, which most scouts think will end up at around a .380 OBP. Happ also has versatility, as he can play second or any of the outfield positions.
Yeah, no shit Jim. Especially the team control part over the next SIX SEASONS, might give you a clue that the Cubs wouldn’t want to do this trade. But no, for Jim Bowden, trading two 22-year-old prospects, one of which is already being groomed as the future center fielder, makes complete sense to get Hamilton, who has a career .297 OBP.
HOLY FUCK!
Bowden has to be pulling a Skip Bayless here. And similar to Skip, he’s spewing so much unbelievable shit that Bowden is starting to believe in it.
Jim Bowden might literally be insane. Someone please check up on him.
If you need to throw up for any reason, here’s the link to his entire article.
